If you're looking for a present to give a person who has alcoholism I suggest kind honesty. Not honesty used as a weapon but getting the courage to say what you've been afraid to say in a caring manner. Perhaps you can stop offering vague excuses for not going out with a person. Maybe you can say how it scares you to see the person interact with your kids when she's been drinking. Can you imagine saying the real reason the person is excused from the car pool activity?
"I'd love to go with you but the last time we went out you got drunk and scared me." "I know you love my kids but when you were over after drinking you teased them until they cried." "It would help a lot if you drove but the last two times you drove over you had alcohol on your breath and slurred your words." These hard truths said in a kind way may provide the impetus for a person to seek help or at least start asking questions.
Alcoholism frequently needs a conspiracy of silence and accommodation to flourish. Being kindly honest about your perceptions and being specific about your limits and why you set them is a gift. Once problems caused by drinking are acknowledged and the word alcoholism is mentioned things are never the same. Seeds are planted and whether they sprout or not doesn't matter. The alcoholic has been given the gift of honesty and consequences.